pastalad:

pastalad:

so this morning my dad said

“hey we got some tomatos”

and i walk into the kITCHEN AND THE ENTIRE TABLE WAS COMPLETELY COVERED IN TOMATOS LIKE DAD THAT IS NOT SOME TOMATOS THAT IS A FUCKLOAD OF TOMATOS

WHRE DID YOU EVEN GET ALL OF THESE TOMATOS

JUST IN CASE YOU FUCKERS THOUGH TI WAS JOKING

lexflippinluthor:

NO YOU PIECE OF SHIT

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

warrioru:

SEVERITY OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A COMPETITION
SEVERITY OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A COMPETITION
SEVERITY OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A COMPETITION
SEVERITY OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A COMPETITION

1. SEVERITY OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A COMPETITION

• SEVERITY OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A COMPETITION
  

SEVERITY OF MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A COMPETITION

onginalmaz:

I’m doing a thing where i’m trying to find out which is the most popular revival regeneration.

For Nine.

For Ten.

SORRY THIS WAS A LOT FUNNIER IN MY HEAD

Dead.

#DEAD

OMFG IM DYING.

MUM YOU’RE DRUNK AND RAMBLING AND I’M REALLY FUCKING CLOSE TO SNAPPING AT YOU PLEASE JUST GO TO BED I DON’T LIKE HEARING YOU STUMBLE OVER EVERY SENTENCE NOT TO MENTION FURNITURE

…or does she?

egbert-tier:

i am so fucking done with this text book.

spinelessfemme:

manafromheaven:

irrevokable:

cat meows underwater. i don’t think you understand how much i’m crying right now.

WHAT NOISE EVEN IS THAT

“why wouldn’t you lift your face up?” i’M FUCKING DONE OMG

221bec:

professionalmisandrist:

What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick